Nerves

I’m in Washington D.C. on the tail end of an eleven hour layover. Our flight to Rome leaves in 2 hours. I’m excited, but almost more than that…  I’m nervous, to say the least.

 

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been having the same conversation with countless people:

 

Me: I’m quitting my job and moving to Italy!

Person: Wow, how exciting! What do you plan to do there?

Me: I’m hoping to teach English.

Person: Oh, so you have a job there?

Me: No, I’m taking an outrageously expensive class to get certified to teach English… then I need to find a job.

Person: So they place you in a job?

Me: No, it’s just like here – I need to find my own job.

Person: Oh, but you have a visa, right?

Me: No, they’re really hard to get.

Person: But you’re going to get one?

Me: Probably not.

Person: So… you don’t have a job and you don’t have a visa? Do you have an apartment?

Me: Yes, but only for one month.

 

Then the person looks at me like I just told them I love to drown kittens and blurts out:

 

Person: So why do you want to go to Italy? You have a perfectly nice apartment and a wonderful job here in the States!

 

Well, if “nice” and “wonderful” are used as loose and relative terms, then I suppose that is what I had… although I might have selected more precise terms, such as “shoddy” and “mind numbing.” Why wouldn’t I want to try something new?

 

I love Italy. Even though I chose to learn Italian out of desperation for an easy A, I fell in love with the language as well as the food, the culture, the history, the pop sensation, Nek… you name it. If it’s Italian, I probably love it (with the possible exception of the mafia and Berlusconi). I’m leaving for Italy because I want – and I say this with the utmost, albeit clichéd, sincerity – to have an adventure. I want to solidify all that I have learned about Italy and immerse myself in the culture. This is something I’ve thought about doing for a long time. What better time to do this than when I’m young? Right now, nothing says adventure to me like illegal work and the imminent threat of deportation!

 

Of course, that’s also the exact reason why I’m nervous. I guess it wouldn’t really be an adventure without a bittersweet amalgamation (right?) of excitement, apprehension, happiness and fear. I don’t know how this will turn out and there’s a good chance I’ll be back in California by November, casting dignity aside and begging for my old job back. But with just a smidgeon of fortuna, I’ll find a job and fulfill my dream of living in Italy for a year.

 

I’ll miss everyone, to be sure, but I’ll be back soon… provided I’m not seduced by a mammone.

 

(Just kidding, Mom!)